Okay, finally the rough script treatment is done. One of the biggest challenges was the character of Darth Hellok. Having searched the internets and the like for different Sith images, I came across this illustration from Bjorn Hurri. I was so impressed with this rendering that I wanted to use the image for the character of Hellok. This Sith does have a pink-ish hue like Hello Kitty, refer my earlier post, similiar to Darth Maul and had long white hair. Below, is the final rough draft of the continuing story but I added something new at the end of page 5. This last image will have eyes from Hellok looking over the scene which turns out to be a vision he has about the future. I’ll continue to revise the script but I wanted to share this info as quickly as possible to my artists who will be doing the bulk of the work – the artwork. Let me know what you think.
Page 5
FULL PAGE
Panel 1
The SITH INTERCEPTOR crashes in one of the SKYCRAPERS. (Think 9/11). This is a VISION. High above this scene is a pair of ominous looking eyes. These are the eyes of DARTH HELLOK. (NEW)
HORT (V.O.)
With our lives.
Page 6
Panel 1
The same eyes are seen again but we see DARTH HELLOK full face. Hellok is hauntingly handsome with some feminine touches. He has a full red facial tattoo with long stark white hair. (See picture).
HELLOK (caption)
A vision of things to come.
Panel 2
Wide shot of Hellok with arms and legs spread apart and held by restraints. In the back we see a SITH ACOLYTE getting ready to WHIP Hellok.
Panel 3
Closeup of SITH INQUISITOR H’OS looks on the scene. We see CRACK of the whip off camera.
H’OS
I grow tire of this Hellok. You know speaking against the Sith Doctrine is forbidden.
Panel 4
Hellok with his head down
HELLOK
(Mocking) Two there should be; no more, no less. Darth Bane was wrong.
H’OS (to the Sith Acolyte)
Once more…
Panel 5
Close up of Sith Acolyte’s hand up and ready to whip Hellok.
MASTER CIRCU (off camera)
HOLD!
Page 7
Panel 1
¼ page (left) of full shot of MASTER CIRCU. Face is hidden by his cloak.
CIRCU
Release my Apprentice, Inquisitor.
Panel 2
Top right. Closeup of H’os.
H’OS (disgust)
Release him.
Panel 4
The restraints are loosened and we see Hellok falling on his knees.
Panel 5
From Panel 1 Speak balloon appears in this panel
CIRCU
Rise Hellok.
HELLOK
Yes, my master.
Page 8
Panel 1
Two shot of Circu and Hellok.
CIRCU
The Council believes you are too reckless to lead the Sith campaign to overthrow the Jedi Knights once and for all. Your disregard for our Sith training will be your undoing. In turn, your undoing will be our demise.
HELLOK
Master Circu I’ve had a vision of how the Jedis will be destroyed once and for all. I promise you, I will not fail.
Panel 2
Closeup of Circu’s covered face. Only his mouth is seen in the light with a grin.
CIRCU
Good. I have a mission for you…one of which that will complete your training and restore the Council’s confidence in you.
Panel 3
HELLOK
I will not fail, my Master.
Panel 4
Two shot of Circu and Hellok.
CIRCU
Go to one of the outer planets, JAKUN, and there you will fulfill your destiny.
HELLOK
As you wish.
Panel 5
Hellok heads off to his ship. Circu looks on.
Page 9
PANEL 1
Full Page of Circu and now H’OS
H’OS
When Hellok gets back from his mission; he will strike you down with all his hatred.
CIRCU
He will not be coming back.
